Story about a young woman, who was heroically losing weight to become a model, and as she managed to lose weight, she realized that this was not the happiness she looked for.

Her task was to lose a couple of kilograms that prevent her from getting into the weight category of European top models.

Crawford“You are so photogenic! You need to become a model!” I was hearing these phrases in my native town from the age of twelve. But I did not take them seriously. I grew up without a father, and I wanted to get a “strong” profession and entered the faculty of finance and economics.

I and young men, which were surrounding me, me liked my appearance and figure. At the age of twenty, with a height of 176 centimeters, I weighed 65 kilograms. One fine day, I met a model scout, who established credibility.

He spoke about traveling to Europe: the city of dreams – London – loomed on the horizon, not to mention Milan and Paris. Scout suggested that I lose five kilograms. “No problem!” I answered, found my mother’s videos “Shape your Body” with Cindy Crawford, imposed a strict ban on food at night – and shed five kilograms in a flash.

I remember that it was especially difficult to give up pasta, but this product, as I then believed – completely in vain, – contained the root of evil for the slimmers.

And then, I was invited to a casting for a French agency. Western demands are quite tough. I came and was stunned: I had never met such skinny girls in my life – their feet looked like matches, their collarbones were sticking out, and none of them had any curves.

At the same time, they were all half a head taller than me. “You have too much muscle mass,” delivered casting director his verdict to me. Popping out of the room into the street, I immediately called my mother with despair: “Mom, I changed my mind! I do not want to be like them: skinny and ugly…” But the best friend took as a dare “And what did you think? You will never have such legs for sure.”

  • I exhausted myself with diets, shaping, wore braces – and did not grow thin

Getting worked up, I decided to prove that I will have such legs. For a start, I stopped eating anything after 3 in the afternoon. I signed in tough shaping sessions in a modeling school. I was exercising in special shorts made of plastic film that made me sweat more. On a half-starved menu – I “ate” a maximum of 1200 calories a day – and I managed to go down to 54 kilograms.

What is Cindy allowed

To work in Europe, you need to have a hip circumference no more than 90 centimeters. My hips fit in the limits only at a weight of 52 kilograms. Just like in most girls. If you read in an interview of some top model or on the webpage on the agency’s website that she weighs 55 kilograms, be sure that it’s a lie.

Such weight can be allowed only to icons, like Cindy Crawford, who no longer need to take part in the shows. With high height, keeping low weight is not an easy task – most girls are slim by nature.

Chinese foodOnce, while working as a model in Beijing, I lived in a hostel with a desperately thin American. While she ate the chocolates, lying on the couch, I jumped in front of the laptop, turning on the aerobics video tutorial. I envied my neighbor like crazy. However, she did gain excess weight by the end of the contract. This is the peculiarity of Chinese food: it makes everybody gain weight.

After Beijing, I suddenly grew up – to the ideal 178 centimeters. And the weight remained at the same level. Then, the desired 52 kilograms became for me not only a trip to London and Paris, but also something more. I decided that only in this weight I will be myself – light, thin, ephemeral. Once, I liked my body in a weight of 65 kilograms. Now I was unhappy with everything.

400 beats

I tried different mono-diets:

  • buckwheat,
  • fruit,
  • yogurt.

I got zero result. I remember I had to wear braces and consume only liquid food for a while. I felt totally unhappy, hungry, but… I did not lose weight. Until I was advised to try a nutrition system on an Internet forum.

It was based on boosting the metabolism through consuming a sufficient, and not a cut-down amount of calories. If your rate is 2000 calories per day, you should eat just that much, and not 1200. And lose weight at the same time! By exactly 400 grams per week. If you can not lose weight by that much, you reduce the daily caloric value. And if you fit, you can relax.

For a greater efficiency – and simply because I could not start eating larger portions after my fasting period – I used split meals. I had small meals strictly at 10, 12, 14, 16, 18 and 20 o’clock. It worked – hungry body was happy to get some food and began to “give up” kilograms. The scales showed first 52, then 50. Mom, seeing me in a swimsuit, was frightened: “Auschwitz concentration camp!” Yet, there was nothing she could claim, because I was eating.

Cindy CrawfordWhen I signed my first contract with a Western agency, at the casting for the Milan Fashion Week, I heard: “Why don’t you gain a kilogram?” And I, as prescribed by that effective weight loss system, simply increased the amount of calories consumed. But, of course, it’s not just about the diet.

I stopped torturing myself both physically and psychologically. For example, I stopped using the word “slim down” and preferred using “gain slenderness”. I hope I will never have to starve again.

Once, I tried on Balenciaga dress in front of the buyers of the best department stores in the world. And I did not manage to fit in it, although I weighed 50 kilograms. I will also never forget the Versace dress from the shooting for the French glossy magazine, which sat on my waist of 57 centimeters very tight. But no dress, however beautiful and fashionable it may be, can make me doubt myself, be angry with myself or hate myself. If you do not love your body, it’s really impossible to lose weight.

Model Raids

Today, I weigh 58 kilograms. My body is tired of being thin. At 49-50 kilograms, I get dizzy, my pressure jumps, and I easily get sick. So, now I lose weight in raids. I lose about five kilograms before the contract. I become light, thin, ephemeral – yet not more happy. This state does not depend on weight.

Find your eating system, choose your favorite exercises, make your life full of joy that does not depend on your weight. Our weight should not determine the level of our happiness. Bring your life to the brighter side and you will notice your weight lowering in an easy and consistent way.